I'm a Higher Self Healer, speaker and single mom to three incredible kids. I'm on a mission to change the world by helping as many women as possible to quit the people-pleasing trap, connect to your Soul and own your self-worth so you can find the confidence to create the joyful life of your dreams.
Admittedly, my story is pretty wild. I spent most of my life living with chronic pain, depression, abuse, debilitating anxiety and the aftermath of childhood cancer. Life truly felt like a living hell, but I turned it all around and tapped into an inner wellspring of happiness that led me to my life's purpose.
To find out how I did it, we've got to go back to elementary school.
I’ve always excelled at people pleasing. In fact, in sixth grade, I won an award for it. I got trophy with my name on it and everything. I felt love-starved at home and endured merciless bullying at school, which only increased the year I was finally diagnosed with cancer (more on that in a minute). Part of me held on to hope that I could somehow find the magic formula to winning the love and acceptance I was so desperate for from my family, though I'd long since given up on ever being liked by my classmates. I managed to convince myself that if I could convince enough of the staff at my elementary school to grant me that Most Cooperative award, my parents would be forced to accept this public proof of my loveable-ness and give me the love and connection I wanted so desperately.
It turns out the unspoken rules for being liked by my teachers were pretty easy to figure out. I got perfect grades, earned a spot in the gifted program, excelled in music and writing and practiced my sucking-up skills on every available adult.
The conditions for being loved and accepted by my family seemed to be ever-changing. No matter what I did, I couldn't seem to hit the mark, and I grew up heartbroken and lonely.
The same year I finally won that Most Cooperative award, I was also diagnosed with a rare form of thyroid cancer. I'd developed a softball sized tumor in my neck, serious depression, anxiety, severe brain fog, regular bouts of fainting and zero energy. I was also struggling with a debilitating chronic pain condition I'd had since age 4.
I was so afraid of being seen as a burden to my family and permanently losing the fragile ties that held us together, so I did my best to keep my symptoms to myself. When I passed out during soccer practice, keeping my physical symptoms hidden was no longer an option. The local soccer moms united and fired up the gossip mill, forcing my parents to take my complaints seriously. Unfortunately the doctors I saw didn't. They said that the conditions my complaints pointed to were simply impossible for a child to have. Testing wasn't needed, they said. I had to be making it all up just to get attention.
One of them looked me straight in the eyes and told me that all I needed was to start being a good girl and everything would be fine. That was probably the least helpful thing anyone has ever said to me.
I was absolutely devastated. I had real problems and they weren't going away, and I felt powerless to change them. So, I learned to live with a moderate to excruciating level of daily misery. I turned the volume switch on my intuition to the OFF position because it wouldn’t stop screaming at me to keep asking for help. Instead I cemented chronic people-pleasing and self-denial as my way of being. I made myself as small and quiet as I possibly could.
I continued this pattern long after I’d forgotten that it was a choice I had the power to change. Eventually I did get the help I needed for my physical problems. Fourteen total hours of surgery and many years of follow-up treatments later, I found myself all grown up and trapped in a nightmare relationship with my parents.
My step-father was indifferent, but my mother really appeared to believe that I was the solely responsible for everything she thought was wrong with her life. By the time my senior year of college rolled around, I was absolutely desperate for to be rescued from my relationship with her. One night at a local frat bar, I found my night in shining, whiskey-coated armor.
He had more confidence than anyone I’d ever met. He honestly believed that rules didn’t apply to him and that he could have anything he wanted. I was in awe of the confidence he’d done nothing to earn. In fact, he’d created some truly spectacular fuck-ups in the 22 years before I met him. Yet, through it all his family seemed to think he walked on water. So did his enormous circle of friends plus every bartender in town.
We couldn’t have been greater opposites. I was determined to be loved by him and I couldn’t have cared less about my own happiness. He only cared about having fun and being liked.
He needed constant rescuing and I needed someone to sacrifice myself for.
We were a match made in heaven, or a ticking time bomb waiting to explode.
He said he’d been waiting for the right woman to come along to drink less and get his life together. He said I was the one who was worth the effort of making all those big changes. His parents were openly grateful that their son had found someone who would rescue him from himself. They said I was an angel sent straight from heaven.
Getting married seemed like the logical next step, so in July of 2003 we stood at the altar of a beautiful stone church and promised to rescue each other forever and ever, amen.
Not one to half-ass anything, I took my vows to the absolute max, until they turned into full-blown martyrdom. Fourteen years and three kids later I woke up one morning in a fog of exhaustion and desperation, my body, mind, and spirit completely shattered, and finally faced the reality that the life I’d made for myself wasn’t a life at all.
Looking back, it’s easy to see that our marriage was destined to fall apart. Neither one of us had the foggiest idea who we were or what we needed to feel truly fulfilled. I’d been lugging around several lifetimes worth of emotional baggage and despite years of traditional therapy, it still felt like a crushing weight. Dealing with his big emotions didn’t feel like fun to him, so he took them out on me in every imaginable way.
We were both unhappy and spent years blaming each other for our problems.
To make it all worse, my body had completely fallen apart. That chronic pain condition I’d been living with since age 4 had suddenly intensified to the point that I couldn’t sleep for days on end and just the pressure of clothes on my body would send me into a sensory overload to intense that I’d vomit or pass out. I was on a thyroid replacement dose so high it would literally kill a horse, but with even the tiniest reduction in my dosage I couldn’t breathe.
I was living right on the edge of life and death in every possible way, barely able to function physically and existing in a marriage that sucked out of me what remained of my vital force every day.
I’d spent years trying to convince myself that if I just waited long enough, things would eventually get better. The kids would get older and my daily routine wouldn’t be so difficult. I prayed my husband would finally hit his rock bottom and finally commit to changing himself for the better.
The kids got older. My husband got another DUI. The physical, emotional and mental abuse escalated. Every day I’d wake up wondering if today would be the wonderful, magical rock-bottom day I’d been waiting for and everything would finally start to turn around, or if today would just feel like another day in hell.
Then one day, it finally happened.
It was the morning after a particularly rough physical altercation with my husband, when my daughter asked me the one question I’d been trying to avoid asking myself for years, “Mom, why don’t you just leave?”
In an instant I got a visit from the Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come, and witnessed my life fast forward ten years. I saw my daughter in her own abusive relationship, staying for the sake of someone else’s feelings while I begged her to save herself. Until that moment I thought I’d been her shield. I thought that martyrdom was the way of the Great Mother who found themselves in an abusive marriage.
Until that moment I hadn’t realized that what I’d really been doing all those years was teaching my children how to be excellent victims, not just abuse victims, but the victims of any circumstance they’d ever find themselves in.
That's when I made the decision that I was done. I was finally ready to do whatever it would take to take control over my life and find the love and connection I'd been desperately seeking my entire life.
There was no turning back.
Finding My Joy
I spent so many years convincing myself that the reason I stayed in an abusive marriage for so long was because I couldn't be the mother my kids needed on my own, but the truth was, I stayed because when I agreed to be whisked away from my problematic relationship with my mother, I agreed to give up my power to change the pattern that created that problematic relationship in the first place, only to find myself in a new relationship playing out the same old pattern.
I’d found my own my rock-bottom and with it greatest gift I could ever receive: coming face-to-face with my Soul. It was all that was left of me then. Everything else had been stripped away. I’d allowed myself to be broken down in every way until I had no crutch to lean on, and no way to distract myself from the limiting beliefs and negative emotions that created the mess I’d found myself in.
With no one else to rely on for guidance, I was forced to turn the volume back up on my intuition and let it lead the way. I wanted to quit surviving and find a way to thrive. I wanted to really know myself, who I am, what I want, what lights me up, and what makes me feel fulfilled. I wanted to show my children how to become the hero of their own lives by allowing them to witness my own transformation from victim to Queen.
So, in 24 hours I told my husband I wanted a divorce, I hired an attorney, applied for for first paying job in 13 years and hired a healer who specialized in releasing emotions and beliefs at the unconscious level.
I felt like I was finally coming home to myself and every day that home felt better and better. That's when I found out that it's when you're feeling good that your Unconscious decides you're ready to handle your biggest problems.
A few short weeks later, I found out the hard way that your Unconscious keeps your biggest problems hidden from you until you're ready to handle them. I was already in a much better place emotionally, so much Unconscious decided it was time for me to deal with one of my oldest patterns: chronic pain.
I sat sobbing uncontrollably in my car just a few minutes before a virtual session with my Higher Self Healer was scheduled to begin. The chronic pain condition I'd had since I was four years old had suddenly flared up so intensely that I could barely speak. I logged into our session feeling at once guilty for wasting her time and defeated by my own body, but she promised me that this was happening for a reason and that my body was ready to be healed. She asked me to rate my pain on a scale from 1 - 10 (10 for sure). Then we started diving into the emotions and beliefs associated with my physical pain. When we finished about 45 minutes later she asked me to rate my level of pain again. This time I gave it a 3. Twenty minutes after our session ended I had zero physical pain.
It's been over five years since that session and I haven't experienced a single moment of pain since then.
Living My Purpose
In under one hour I'd completely shifted my beliefs about what was possible for me and I knew immediately that I'd found my life's purpose. I felt elated, freed from several lifetimes worth of baggage and deep within me I knew without a shadow of a doubt that anything, literally ANYTHING I wanted was possible. I walked into the front door of the home I still shared with my ex-husband that had once felt like a prison, with a level of confidence that I’d never known before. If I could change the one thing that felt so unchangeable in just one hour, what else could I do?
Or better yet, what couldn’t I do?
I had a deep knowing that nothing could ever happen to me that I couldn’t handle. By choosing to trust my intuition and connect to my Higher Self I was beginning to see myself in a whole new light. My problems no longer felt like burdens, but opportunities for growth. Each day felt bright and hopeful, a miracle waiting to happen. I was beginning to see beyond this reality and into the wider, deeper truth: I am the Divine in human form, and so are you.
I wanted as many women as possible to experience the freedom, confidence, hope and joy that I'd just found. So that night I trusted my intuition again and signed up for my very first Higher Self Healing training course and once again, I changed the course of my entire life.
Since then I've become certified as a Master Practitioner in Hypnotherapy and Neuro-Linguistic Programming and learned the neuroscience behind how our Unconscious codes our problems. I've been initiated into ancient Polynesian Shamanism and been given the secrets to ancient spiritual healing techniques that date back thousands of years that have the power to release lifetimes of emotional baggage in just a few minutes.
I still experience challenges and tough emotions because that’s just how life helps us to continue our upward evolution, but I don’t stay stuck in those funky feelings anymore, because now I have the tools to deal with them and the experience to know that I really can turn any challenging situation into an outcome that's so much greater than anything I could have ever imagined.
If there’s one thing you take away from reading these words, let it be this:
You have within you right now the power to be, do and have anything you want. All you need are the tools to get you there. I found them the hard way and I'd love to share them with you so can create a life beyond your wildest dreams the easy way.
Ready to level-up your life and change your biggest problem for good?
I've created a unique process using the highest level spiritual healing tools known to man. With this process we can delete the neurological programming that caused your problem in the first place and install the neurology that will enable you to achieve what you want to have instead of that old problem. This process is so effective that with it we can change the entire course of your life in two hours or less.